After I shared, everyone took a moment to pray for me.
My friends asked God again to heal my body. "Yes God," I thought. "Please, I'm so done with being sick. I'd give anything to be healthy again..."
But then something in my heart stirred.
I realized that: No, I wouldn't give anything to be healthy again. Even more than being healed, I want God to accomplish His will in me. If I can love others in a way that I can't when I'm healthy, then I choose this over being healthy. I've surrendered my life to God and I trust him, that he's going to do what is in my best interest.
It was a moment of immense peace when I realized that. I want to be healed, but even more I want God to use me to love others.
I still plead with God for healing, but I know I will be okay regardless.